Today, was a very emotional roller coaster of a day for me. This afternoon, had a great meeting, brainstorming with two business partners. After that I finally got the strength to pick up my feline baby’s clay paw print. She died Nov 2014. I was sure that I would be strong but I wasn’t, there was a flood of emotions that engulfed me.
From reflecting on the day that I was forced to put my feline baby of 18 years to sleep. It doesn’t matter rather a human or a pet the emotion was the same for me..grief is grief. When you attach your emotions to something, there will always follow grief when the item of attachment is no longer in your presence. Especially, anything that has the breath of life in it.
I grieved and let go
As I stood in front of the veterinarian technician, she gave me a stone item that I had created as a remembrance of my little life. The paw print was now just a memory from last year. A memory of a little life that was once part of my family. I found myself apologizing to my Creator for not being able to do more. But animals have their life cycle of old age as well as we humans do. So, I grieved and let go.
I managed to pull my emotions together before going to visit my family. During the visit with my maman, I asked how was grandmaman doing. I have to admit that this woman is a true fighter for life but no one can stop the wages of sin in old age. That was also an ache to my heart as I listened to my mothers’ pain of feeling helpless. We do the best that we can for our sick or aging family but in the end, even that is not enough. Love always wins for them. My maman as the only child is her maman’s best friend and daughter…that was touching for me. During my childhood, I remember on countless occasions the two of talking every day for hours. I thought to myself, didn’t you two just talk to each other yesterday?
Old but young, do you ever grow up?
Just got back home from visiting with grandmaman and my maman. I am 12 years old all over again around them. Last night I was in tears in laughter talking to maman. Grandmaman woke up and yelled when are you 2 going to bed!? Then told my maman this morning to stop talking and give her quiet time. It was priceless to see my maman 12 years old also. Then the next moment something profound comes from her mouth.
My grandmaman just said to me, “you know when I look at myself in the mirror I see the changes, how I don’t look the same anymore. But its ok, I have accepted this and I move on. Why let it bother me that I’m not as pretty as I used to be”. I thought that was very powerful. And this is what makes her beautiful, this is what keeps her going. She doesn’t feel sorry for the aging process. So to my clients, I remind them you are beautiful, the mirror doesn’t dictate this, we can’t reverse time. But our outlook on how we perceive ourselves is what we can change. What do you think?
Tried to give Quinoa to grandmaman for dinner. It didn’t work, the look on her face was priceless. Then came the question, “what is that?”
I love her so much, “my Rock” ..Roxie is grandmaman’s name. And it is very appropriate for her.
….Stay Beautiful and Healthy